Waiting Games

New Slam Piece-- Per Usual Always Better When Performed.


I don’t go around doing things like this,
That’s what I said,
If I am completely honest most people think I am a prude,
And I am sure a few think that I am just plain rude because of the prudence with which
I approach each and every situation knowing that human inclinations can lie and this makes my position in such a world unnaturally wise,
And since I am easily moved to cry I resort to risk analysis to avoid the catastrophe of great floods from my eyes,
Because my rain quickly becomes a natural disaster in the landscape of my heart and earthquakes can topple my soul leaving piles of rubble,
And with my heart and my soul both rendered helpless my mind runs wild free of its bubble.

So now, June 18th, 2010 you will have become my minds constant playmate,
A companion like no other,
Welcome, be embraced by every other date in the book of my life that now stands still plastered with memories like stone walls,
Your hands hold the hopes and fears of a failed risk analysis
Where the unthinkable became thought and the prudent became the dare devil unabashedly committed to this jump
Unsure whether or not I’d find myself caught in the wreckage,
I accepted the potential of being locked in this cage.

6 18 2010, you could have been a jackpot lotto number,
But instead your eyes now hold moments that disappeared in the mornin’ as the sun rose to greet you with the light of day,
Shining bright on the dark of my eve that now seems only a figment of my imagination leaving me breathless with no words to say,
Only the fleeting feeling of lips pressed to mine with hands on hands pushing back voices shouting, “This will all end in time”.

Yes, this will all end in time,
But in this moment the energy of this first first makes the earth stand still,
And if only for a second time stops,
I have gained uncharted moments with you.

And let’s not forget you, old friend,
4th Avenue Diner,
You will continue to be one of my best,
Corners of your infrastructure hiding memories that only I can see,
Flashbacks on movie screens,
I’ve never had Breakfast at Tiffany’s but breakfast at the diner is good enough for me because it is the place where things happen,
The unexpected, the unthinkable, the unfathomed moment,
That happened nothing like I imagined.

Behind a grease stained menu in a worn out booth,
Surrounded by friends for whom this was a monumental move,
You and I met like ships in the night catching glimpses of light,
And I’m still not sure what its worth.
A moment of honesty and you turned to me,
My mind shouting, “What the hell are you doing? We are still waiting.”
But my heart couldn’t hear the warnings over its beat and just pushed forward,
And I’m beginning to think its true,
Every step forward is two steps backwards.

It was only a kiss, but it meant so much more,
I pry would have kept it had I known better what I was waiting for,
Cause you have not called nor emailed nor text’d,
Facebook is acceptable,
You could poke me at best,
I pry would feel better if post 6 18 2010 we would connect,
Cause I didn’t want my first to be a first and a last,
I hate to look back and have regret in my past,
But I know,
It’s only been 3 days and your busy, I’m sure,
So,
I’ll make an excuse for why there’s lag,
We’ll connect soon and I’ll no longer feel bad,
For giving away what I held for so long,
For 24 years my grip was so strong,
But in a matter of hours you got under my skin,
My defenses were down and my soul let you in,
I couldn’t push back,
So hope hit the ring and went for the win,
And I walked into the unknown leaving my 4th Avenue den.

I want you know that I’m not expecting much,
Life is sort of crazy and time is always a crunch,
But it would be nice if we could have lunch,
So please be to true your word and prove my fears wrong,
Just do me a favor,
Don’t make me wait too long.