You words skip through my mind like a broken record,
Always spinning but never moving forward,
In play but always repeating
Giving you space to be retreating
Causing my love to be receding.
And the repetition of your statement is the hammer beating the nail in the coffin of this relationship.
Every start is shorter with every ending longer,
And I just grow more numb to the needle of this record player attempting to play scars like vinyl.
And every time I think this is it,
There goes that damn skip.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
With this Pen
With this pen in this book
I shall write the words of my heart
Pushing them out, so as to not let them rip me apart,
And because I'm an artist this will be my healing,
Returning sensitivity, renewing my feeling,
From heart to pen
From pen to paper
From paper to mind to mouth to where I stand planted on this stage will be the place of my resurrection.
If you're listening lose all discretion,
Feel and you too shall find healing,
We are about to get real
Finding true restoring in the craft of our wording.
I shall write the words of my heart
Pushing them out, so as to not let them rip me apart,
And because I'm an artist this will be my healing,
Returning sensitivity, renewing my feeling,
From heart to pen
From pen to paper
From paper to mind to mouth to where I stand planted on this stage will be the place of my resurrection.
If you're listening lose all discretion,
Feel and you too shall find healing,
We are about to get real
Finding true restoring in the craft of our wording.
Full Attention (Intro Spit)
First Love,
I must apologize for how I've ignored You,
Truth is I should adore You, Love
I've hurt You,
Turned my back on You,
And You still wait patiently for me to turn to You,
First Love, I'm comin' home,
Back to You, Love
Givin' You alone my full attention
I must apologize for how I've ignored You,
Truth is I should adore You, Love
I've hurt You,
Turned my back on You,
And You still wait patiently for me to turn to You,
First Love, I'm comin' home,
Back to You, Love
Givin' You alone my full attention
How You Gonna (Draft 1/No Chorus/No Bridge)
You swoop in unpredictable / I'm standin' there wide open / Young heart so fillable / You knew the truth / It was inevitable / I should have listened when you said this will be terrible
I was blind / Made me a spectacle / You could see / Wearing those spectacles / You tried to tell me but I couldn't listen / Your actions were lieing / Your words didn't glisten / So we're here in the end / I'm livin' skeptic / This relationship is all the more hectic
I want to give up/ I want to say bump it / But this lump in my throat is leavin' me huntin / Searching for water that you the one holdin' / But if I'm honest you're steady with holdin' / No I'm wonderin' do I move on or step to you bolder
I was blind / Made me a spectacle / You could see / Wearing those spectacles / You tried to tell me but I couldn't listen / Your actions were lieing / Your words didn't glisten / So we're here in the end / I'm livin' skeptic / This relationship is all the more hectic
I want to give up/ I want to say bump it / But this lump in my throat is leavin' me huntin / Searching for water that you the one holdin' / But if I'm honest you're steady with holdin' / No I'm wonderin' do I move on or step to you bolder
(Dancing) One Fine Day
It was like dancing in my room only there were two,
I was mad and you were confused,
If I had known then what I know now I might have known what to do.
You were the guitar playing in my ear,
But our hearts were beating to different tunes,
And now I am hurt and so are you,
But neither of us know what to do.
So I push you away and this all goes to decay,
Angels place a cross where our hearts lay,
And it was like dancing in my room one fine day.
So you'll let me go and we'll get out the way,
And I'll continue dancing one fine day.
I was mad and you were confused,
If I had known then what I know now I might have known what to do.
You were the guitar playing in my ear,
But our hearts were beating to different tunes,
And now I am hurt and so are you,
But neither of us know what to do.
So I push you away and this all goes to decay,
Angels place a cross where our hearts lay,
And it was like dancing in my room one fine day.
So you'll let me go and we'll get out the way,
And I'll continue dancing one fine day.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
New Things
Dear Family and Friends,
I pray that the New Year is treating you well! It seems early on that 2011 is going to be a year of discovery and change. I am writing you to let you know about my future transition from Urban Impact as the co-director of the Leadership and Mentorship Project.
The past 7 years of my life have been amazing! God has moved in some of the most spectacular and unexpected ways. When I moved to Seattle in October of 2004 to attend Seattle Pacific University I could not have imagined the journey that I would travel. Within the first month of my time in Seattle God showed me that my being in this place was intentional. Dr. John M. Perkins spoke at the SPU Common Day of Learning that year, and as a freshmen my whole world was changed. Dr. Perkins gave language to principals and ideas that I had been pondering my entire life in regards to faith, community, and justice. From that point on, I knew that I was called to serve as a Christian Community Developer.
That same year I began volunteering at Graham Hill Elementary School as a tutor while attending Rainier Avenue Church. Suddenly so many things began to fall into line as God developed in me a strong passion and desire for community, family and youth. In 2005 Urban Impact came into existence and I fell in love! I knew that I had to work for UI! I volunteered for nearly 2 years when the door opened in the summer of 2006 for me to become a summer intern. Serving as a summer intern assured me that UI was where God was leading me. That fall, when UI made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, I was hired to serve with the Mekong Center. By God’s grace and provision I have been blessed to serve with Urban Impact for 2 years as a volunteer and nearly 5 years as an employee.
These have been the most formative and life-giving 7 years of my life!
I thank God for allowing me to be an instrument of praise in the Rainier Valley living and serving alongside my neighbors!
Like all things in life transitions happen and God has called me out of Urban Impact to join another organization. As of January 31st I will no longer be serving with Urban Impact (www.urbanimpactseattle.org), and will therein transition to Year Up (www.yearup.org) to serve as the Recruitment, Outreach and Internship Coordinator. This has by no means been an easy decision. For 7 years Urban Impact, Rainier Avenue Church and Emerald City Bible Fellowship have been my family; taking me in and claiming me as your own. You will never know what your love and support have meant for me. I know that God has a plan and I trust God’s leading for my UI family and friends, myself and the dynamic little sisters and brothers (youth) I have been blessed to have and hold.
I am not going too far away. So, please know that I will continue living and serving in our community. I love you all from the bottom of heart!
If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or thoughts feel free contact me through this blog.
In closing, I leave you with this. This transition has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but I am reminded that there is a season for everything. I know and believe that we serve a God who works for the good of those who love God.
Ecclesiastes 3 A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
Blessings and Love,
nikkita
I pray that the New Year is treating you well! It seems early on that 2011 is going to be a year of discovery and change. I am writing you to let you know about my future transition from Urban Impact as the co-director of the Leadership and Mentorship Project.
The past 7 years of my life have been amazing! God has moved in some of the most spectacular and unexpected ways. When I moved to Seattle in October of 2004 to attend Seattle Pacific University I could not have imagined the journey that I would travel. Within the first month of my time in Seattle God showed me that my being in this place was intentional. Dr. John M. Perkins spoke at the SPU Common Day of Learning that year, and as a freshmen my whole world was changed. Dr. Perkins gave language to principals and ideas that I had been pondering my entire life in regards to faith, community, and justice. From that point on, I knew that I was called to serve as a Christian Community Developer.
That same year I began volunteering at Graham Hill Elementary School as a tutor while attending Rainier Avenue Church. Suddenly so many things began to fall into line as God developed in me a strong passion and desire for community, family and youth. In 2005 Urban Impact came into existence and I fell in love! I knew that I had to work for UI! I volunteered for nearly 2 years when the door opened in the summer of 2006 for me to become a summer intern. Serving as a summer intern assured me that UI was where God was leading me. That fall, when UI made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, I was hired to serve with the Mekong Center. By God’s grace and provision I have been blessed to serve with Urban Impact for 2 years as a volunteer and nearly 5 years as an employee.
These have been the most formative and life-giving 7 years of my life!
I thank God for allowing me to be an instrument of praise in the Rainier Valley living and serving alongside my neighbors!
Like all things in life transitions happen and God has called me out of Urban Impact to join another organization. As of January 31st I will no longer be serving with Urban Impact (www.urbanimpactseattle.org), and will therein transition to Year Up (www.yearup.org) to serve as the Recruitment, Outreach and Internship Coordinator. This has by no means been an easy decision. For 7 years Urban Impact, Rainier Avenue Church and Emerald City Bible Fellowship have been my family; taking me in and claiming me as your own. You will never know what your love and support have meant for me. I know that God has a plan and I trust God’s leading for my UI family and friends, myself and the dynamic little sisters and brothers (youth) I have been blessed to have and hold.
I am not going too far away. So, please know that I will continue living and serving in our community. I love you all from the bottom of heart!
If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or thoughts feel free contact me through this blog.
In closing, I leave you with this. This transition has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but I am reminded that there is a season for everything. I know and believe that we serve a God who works for the good of those who love God.
Ecclesiastes 3 A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
Blessings and Love,
nikkita
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