Sometimes it just helps to admit that something hurts you.

If you are anything like me, you try not admit any amount of hurt. Even if you admit fault, you never want anyone to think that they had, let alone have, the power to hurt you.

For 7 years, over 1/4 of my life, I poured energy, time and talent into a community. Eventually it turned into a job, but I worked beyond the job, beyond the pay, beyond the job description, because believed I had found a place where all of my passions (Christ, service, community, community development, reconciliation, volunteerism, the Arts, etc.) could come together for the greater good. I felt so incredibly lucky to have discovered this place at such a young age.

I'm learning that utopia's are never what they seem when humanity is involved.

I left that community by what I considered to be God's leading. That community and that work felt like the only earthly items (if you can call them that) in my hands that really meant anything. Letting those go brought me to a place of such deep brokenness. A brokenness through which I am still digging my way out.