Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Prayer
Yes, LORD your servant is listening. I recieve this calling. I am afraid of the responsibility, but I trust You LORD. I will mess up somewhere along the way and so I ask your forgiveness now (and will without a doubt ask again later). LORD, I know You are faithful. You will go before me, walk with me and stay when I leave. Will You come into where I am broken and make me usable? I love You LORD. I place my life in Your hands. This extra ordinary woman trusts You. Do something extraordinary in me LORD that I may serve You well.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Time will Tell
How is it that all once you can say...
Don't wait for him, but be patient with me.
Your too good for him, but I don't want you.
I love you, but I can't be with you.
I need you, but keep your distance.
You are the one, but I can't.
I tell you now...
It hurts me, but it won't kill me.
It bends me, but it won't break me.
I want you, but I don't need you.
I'd live life with you, but I can live without you.
I love you, but I can let go.
I'm waiting now, but not forever.
Time will tell.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Plane Rides
Plane rides give you a lot of time to think...
I was thinking...
I'd write you love letters with paper and pen.
I'd play guitar and sing to my heart's content every morning and every night.
I'd journal each day so as not to forget one moment of this life together.
I'd go to jazz and reggae clubs without reservation because I'm honestly there for the music.
I'd always have my camera so that I could capture those images that I'd otherwise see only once and inevitably have no one, at the time, to share it with.
I'd tell you I love you and this time you would hear me.
I'd ask for forgiveness and you would oblige.
I'd never miss a sunrise and would take time out to stare at the wonder of the sunset.
I'd think more and speak less.
I'd memorize the contours of your face and the texture of your laughs before you walk away from me.
I'd write my heart song so you could sing it with me.
I'd paint the pictures of my mind.
I'd tell stories that reveal truth and heal wounds.
I'd say those things of which I'm most afraid but most need to hear.
I'd ask with courage and faith those questions to which I know no earthly answer exists.
I'd stop toiling to my own avail and remember that one of the greatest gifts we have to give is our "touch". To touch one another physically, to touch each other's lives, to be touched and to receive touch--love.
I'd let You strip me naked of these grave clothes and clothe me as your bride--redeem me--redemption.
I'd let go of these insecurities and ignore the societal pressures and standards of beauty and acceptance.
I'd let go of my pride and let you inside.
I'd admit I'm afraid of the possibilities and so I write them off as impossible. I would in turn recognize the possibilities.
I'd rescue you if I could rescue myself.
I'd never worry if I could always remember Your in control--your footprints in the sand and my body in your hands.
I'd pray without ceasing if I could just get started.
Plane rides can give you too much time to think and just enough time to try to forget.
I Get Myself in Trouble
I swear I get myself in trouble.
I care so much, but by worldly standards I care too much. I don't want people to take me the wrong way and yet they do.
It is hard to be kind, friendly and compassionate without someone thinking:
1. You have other motives. Folks can't just be nice. It seems people always assume there are strings attached.
2. You are trying to holler. Usually not the case with me. I don't have enough guts to holler. Not to mention, I don't want to holler like this.
It is very frustrating. At what point does it become clear..."I honestly care. I don't have any other motives. I just care for you and your well-being. Can I do that? Can I be there for you?"
Anyhow, enough of my rant and rave...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Song Writer's Block
I got plenty of chords,
Plenty of bridges,
I've even got the chorus,
But I'm missin' the lyrics.
What's a heart to do,
When they can find the tune,
But the words are far and few,
Heart trapped,
Steady feelin'.
*I need some lyrics...*
Plenty of bridges,
I've even got the chorus,
But I'm missin' the lyrics.
What's a heart to do,
When they can find the tune,
But the words are far and few,
Heart trapped,
Steady feelin'.
*I need some lyrics...*
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Five Lucky Kisses, One True Love
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
It took me a while,
And five lucky kisses,
But I found the one whose lips I’ve been missin’.
He had a car,
With nice leather seats,
And his platinum made us Emerald City royalty.
He had good manners,
Charisma to boot,
One day we went out,
I had nothing to lose.
So he ordered up food that I’d never seen.
The china design, it mesmerized me.
I imagined us here just ten years later,
My heart skipped a beat,
Could I be twitterpated?
When the evening was done,
The moon hangin’ high,
We stood on my step,
I stared in his eyes.
I gave him the look and then he leaned in,
And instantly I knew this just wasn’t him.
So, I shook his hand and bid him goodnight,
Knowing that he was gone with the night.
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
Now next on my list was a simpler guy,
He didn’t care if his clothes were torn or dyed.
His black skinny jeans,
He wore everyday,
He was the smartest guy that I’d ever date.
He had classic looks,
With a nice chiseled chin,
Blonde hair, blue eyes,
And yes, he is white,
Don’t judge me or him,
We were in love, or so we thought,
But something changed quick,
And we were broken up.
It happened like this,
One beautiful evenin’,
When we were disectin’ philosophical meanin’,
I batted my eyes and gave him the sign,
But as we leaned in I knew he just wasn’t mine.
So, I gently retreated,
And then broke it down,
He understood cause one logic we’d found,
He said, “You’re a great woman and your argument is sound.
I really appreciate it with an easy let down.”
And just like that he was gone in a flash,
Our world’s separated no longer to clash.
But he wouldn’t be the last on my list,
Cause that was only my second kiss.
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
He was a jock,
Not usually my type,
But I decided generalities can be trite,
So I took a risk,
Got lost in his glance,
And found myself given him a chance.
Beautifully sculpted,
From his head down through his legs,
This man was strong,
And could run circles round me for days.
But his best attributes were not his calves nor glutes,
But instead his warm heart and his godly roots.
He knew the Word inside and out,
He followed the way,
And would even shout,
We went for a walk one sunny day,
We sat on a bench,
He started to pray.
“Dear LORD,
Most High of Heaven and earth,
Give us a sign if this is my girl.”
And with an Amen I then felt his hand,
He plastered a kiss and while it was bliss,
It was clear from his lips that he was crossed off the list.
And with great disappointment,
We went divided ways,
But I won’t forget the way that man prayed.
And now after three I sat by a tree,
Feelin’ discouraged that alone I would be.
If the God fearing man just wasn’t the one,
What would I do, this hope was weighing a ton.
And with the warmth of the sun,
The most high gave me a hug,
And said, “Be patient, I’m far from done.”
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
Now, number four was a man I adore,
With a beautiful heart,
Love was only the start.
He was a musician and artist for sure,
He knew my gift, my soul’s open door.
And when he would sing,
It all felt so clear,
That he was the one, my future dear.
My heart he had won,
Each note we would sing,
But there was a problem with our harmony.
It was a glorious evening,
Simple it was,
We sat at piano, our voices, our love,
Our melody and harmony woven together,
The angels sang with us,
The moment was light as a feather.
We started to sing,
And he took the lead,
I followed behind with fine harmony,
He stood from piano,
And reached for my hand,
And suddenly I realized,
He’s just my good riend.
And as he leaned in,
I felt his embrace,
I pushed him away and closed up the cased,
I told him the truth that I loved him much,
But that he wasn’t the one that I want.
He said, “It’s ok.
Let’s continue to sing.
I know someday we’ll both be happy.
And we’ll write a song,
The kind makes hearts long.
And that will be our short love song.”
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
And while number five was the best of them all,
I’ll save you the story,
And tell you he’s wrong.
A wonderful man of that I am sure,
But the truth of the matter is I’m not his girl.
And after kiss five I stood and I looked,
I gazed in the mirror like reading a book.
I washed my face,
And brushed my teeth and found a truth,
A lovely piece.
I took off my make-up and let down my hair,
I looked up to God and gave Him a dare.
“LORD, you know my heart,
And the things that I need.
I give up this search,
And fall to my knees.
I pray for the man that you will give me.
May he love You first,
Be kind and believe.
Protected and guided through your eyes we’ll see.
He’ll have warm heart and live compassionately,
And when the times is right one we will be,
But until then I live one and only for thee,
This time is a gift,
Yes, Lord, let it be.”
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
It took me a while,
And five lucky kisses,
But I found the love that I’ve been missin’.
Yo, Jesus is NOT my boyfriend,
Like some like to say,
Yo, he is my God,
My friend through whom I am saved.
The truth of the matter is I’ve learned to love me,
And yes, I am single, to serve I am free.
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
It took me a while,
And five lucky kisses,
But I found the one whose lips I’ve been missin’.
He had a car,
With nice leather seats,
And his platinum made us Emerald City royalty.
He had good manners,
Charisma to boot,
One day we went out,
I had nothing to lose.
So he ordered up food that I’d never seen.
The china design, it mesmerized me.
I imagined us here just ten years later,
My heart skipped a beat,
Could I be twitterpated?
When the evening was done,
The moon hangin’ high,
We stood on my step,
I stared in his eyes.
I gave him the look and then he leaned in,
And instantly I knew this just wasn’t him.
So, I shook his hand and bid him goodnight,
Knowing that he was gone with the night.
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
Now next on my list was a simpler guy,
He didn’t care if his clothes were torn or dyed.
His black skinny jeans,
He wore everyday,
He was the smartest guy that I’d ever date.
He had classic looks,
With a nice chiseled chin,
Blonde hair, blue eyes,
And yes, he is white,
Don’t judge me or him,
We were in love, or so we thought,
But something changed quick,
And we were broken up.
It happened like this,
One beautiful evenin’,
When we were disectin’ philosophical meanin’,
I batted my eyes and gave him the sign,
But as we leaned in I knew he just wasn’t mine.
So, I gently retreated,
And then broke it down,
He understood cause one logic we’d found,
He said, “You’re a great woman and your argument is sound.
I really appreciate it with an easy let down.”
And just like that he was gone in a flash,
Our world’s separated no longer to clash.
But he wouldn’t be the last on my list,
Cause that was only my second kiss.
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
He was a jock,
Not usually my type,
But I decided generalities can be trite,
So I took a risk,
Got lost in his glance,
And found myself given him a chance.
Beautifully sculpted,
From his head down through his legs,
This man was strong,
And could run circles round me for days.
But his best attributes were not his calves nor glutes,
But instead his warm heart and his godly roots.
He knew the Word inside and out,
He followed the way,
And would even shout,
We went for a walk one sunny day,
We sat on a bench,
He started to pray.
“Dear LORD,
Most High of Heaven and earth,
Give us a sign if this is my girl.”
And with an Amen I then felt his hand,
He plastered a kiss and while it was bliss,
It was clear from his lips that he was crossed off the list.
And with great disappointment,
We went divided ways,
But I won’t forget the way that man prayed.
And now after three I sat by a tree,
Feelin’ discouraged that alone I would be.
If the God fearing man just wasn’t the one,
What would I do, this hope was weighing a ton.
And with the warmth of the sun,
The most high gave me a hug,
And said, “Be patient, I’m far from done.”
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
Now, number four was a man I adore,
With a beautiful heart,
Love was only the start.
He was a musician and artist for sure,
He knew my gift, my soul’s open door.
And when he would sing,
It all felt so clear,
That he was the one, my future dear.
My heart he had won,
Each note we would sing,
But there was a problem with our harmony.
It was a glorious evening,
Simple it was,
We sat at piano, our voices, our love,
Our melody and harmony woven together,
The angels sang with us,
The moment was light as a feather.
We started to sing,
And he took the lead,
I followed behind with fine harmony,
He stood from piano,
And reached for my hand,
And suddenly I realized,
He’s just my good riend.
And as he leaned in,
I felt his embrace,
I pushed him away and closed up the cased,
I told him the truth that I loved him much,
But that he wasn’t the one that I want.
He said, “It’s ok.
Let’s continue to sing.
I know someday we’ll both be happy.
And we’ll write a song,
The kind makes hearts long.
And that will be our short love song.”
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
And while number five was the best of them all,
I’ll save you the story,
And tell you he’s wrong.
A wonderful man of that I am sure,
But the truth of the matter is I’m not his girl.
And after kiss five I stood and I looked,
I gazed in the mirror like reading a book.
I washed my face,
And brushed my teeth and found a truth,
A lovely piece.
I took off my make-up and let down my hair,
I looked up to God and gave Him a dare.
“LORD, you know my heart,
And the things that I need.
I give up this search,
And fall to my knees.
I pray for the man that you will give me.
May he love You first,
Be kind and believe.
Protected and guided through your eyes we’ll see.
He’ll have warm heart and live compassionately,
And when the times is right one we will be,
But until then I live one and only for thee,
This time is a gift,
Yes, Lord, let it be.”
It’s harder to say,
But easier to feel,
Now I know that it’s the real deal.
It took me a while,
And five lucky kisses,
But I found the love that I’ve been missin’.
Yo, Jesus is NOT my boyfriend,
Like some like to say,
Yo, he is my God,
My friend through whom I am saved.
The truth of the matter is I’ve learned to love me,
And yes, I am single, to serve I am free.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
About Me...
It has taken some time, but as of August 8, 2009 the below outlines a number of things I believe to be true in regards to myself, faith and the world around me... WARNING: I am young, and even when I am old, these could change given the right cross-section of God, revelation, and truth. I make no claims of perfection. I am most certainly fallible. It is not a question of will I change my mind or will I disappoint and/or hurt someone I love, but instead a question of WHEN? That said...
"I belong to God no matter how hard I try to run.
Good thing we have a Good Shepherd or else I'd always be running in the wrong direction.
Faith is central to who I am and how I live.
I'm Christian, but you might be surprised at how that ACTUALLY unfolds.
Working hard is a passion.
I am a life-long learner and aspire to be an academic.
Praxis is where the rubber meets the road and I can't learn without it.
I crave, need and want healthy relationships with others.
Equity, justice and righteousness are more than passions--they are a must!
Service is a way of life--as is obedience.
I love children and youth.
I am passionate about healthy families.
Reconciliation is central and essential to Christian theology.
Honesty is a MUST.
I love it when folks are genuine.
I'd prefer you tell me the truth and possibly hurt my feelings momentarily than live in a lie.
A life without music would not be a life worth living.
The Arts leave me breathless and yet fill me with the breath of life.
I love being in love...especially when the love is shared.
My heart and trust are easily given, but once broken much harder to restore.
My body is a temple and I must learn to treat it as such.
I am passionate and full of fire and attitude.
Discipline is the director of passion and therefore necessary.
Ambition is a close friend.
Loyal to the end.
Emotional to the core.
Cool and calm when pertinent.
For life I have a plan but living requires flexibility.
My life starts and ends with an act of love.
Personal Philosophy:
To be salt and light in the world:
Trusting God
Loving People
Living Life
By faith, with hope and in love."
"I belong to God no matter how hard I try to run.
Good thing we have a Good Shepherd or else I'd always be running in the wrong direction.
Faith is central to who I am and how I live.
I'm Christian, but you might be surprised at how that ACTUALLY unfolds.
Working hard is a passion.
I am a life-long learner and aspire to be an academic.
Praxis is where the rubber meets the road and I can't learn without it.
I crave, need and want healthy relationships with others.
Equity, justice and righteousness are more than passions--they are a must!
Service is a way of life--as is obedience.
I love children and youth.
I am passionate about healthy families.
Reconciliation is central and essential to Christian theology.
Honesty is a MUST.
I love it when folks are genuine.
I'd prefer you tell me the truth and possibly hurt my feelings momentarily than live in a lie.
A life without music would not be a life worth living.
The Arts leave me breathless and yet fill me with the breath of life.
I love being in love...especially when the love is shared.
My heart and trust are easily given, but once broken much harder to restore.
My body is a temple and I must learn to treat it as such.
I am passionate and full of fire and attitude.
Discipline is the director of passion and therefore necessary.
Ambition is a close friend.
Loyal to the end.
Emotional to the core.
Cool and calm when pertinent.
For life I have a plan but living requires flexibility.
My life starts and ends with an act of love.
Personal Philosophy:
To be salt and light in the world:
Trusting God
Loving People
Living Life
By faith, with hope and in love."
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