At my age certain questions now seem juvenile. The question in particular that spurred this train of thought is, “What is your favorite color?” Recently I asked a friend this and they laughed at me. At first, I thought they were right to laugh. In that moment I said to myself, “That is a stupid question. I know you work with elementary students, but you are not in elementary school.”
Later as I reflected on the day I replayed the evening’s conversations in my head. I reviewed this specific conversation and I noticed a tension. The Word of God frequently points out how children and youth, those whom society most frequently views as juvenile, are those who are closest to the heart of God. It is in their simplicity that they are able to best understand what it means to have an intentional relationship with God without all of the complexities, responsibilities and theological mush that adults typically allow to cloud the picture.
During the holiday season we have a habit of encouraging children to make cards for those whom they love. When they do so you will see that they are intentional about the colors they use so as to make those cards genuine and personal. Knowing a friend or family member’s favorite color allows one to specialize the gift; to make it personal and meaningful based on the individual preferences of that person. People can show love to one another in a simple, but intentional manner when they know someone’s favorite color. It is a small and simple detail, but nonetheless it is valuable. It is a way of showing intentionality within a relationship, and it really does not take much effort.
So, is this a juvenile question? I honestly do not think so. Ageism is a prevalent –ism in the United States that is often ignored. Children and youth do a lot of things that seem odd or juvenile, but they are really foundational concepts that we, adults, have forgotten. We have written off the value of how something as simple as remembering your friends favorite color can be a stepping stone towards building intentional relationships that seek to understand personal preferences that are both big and small. If I buy my friend flowers they will pry mean more if they are their favorite color because I showed them how much I valued them by remembering their personal preference.
I think that the Word directs us to observe our children because those foundational concepts are still so fresh in them. They can remind us of the basics. When learning to read, write or perform mathematics it is the basic concepts that are the most important because without those you can’t move forward to anything more complicated. Even though one does eventually move on it is still important to remind one’s self how to add, subtract, multiply and divide. A lot of people would say that they have forgotten how to do basic algebra, and it is because they do not practice. If we want to continue to be intentional in our relationships we have to continue to remember to practice the basics.
The beauty of this question is that it is a simple and basic intentionality that can lead to more complicated showings of love and affection. When you remember someone’s favorite color you show that you are not only intentional, but that you can be trusted to remember details. If you can be trusted to remember small details you can be trusted to remember the big ones. These are the building blocks of healthy relationships from the mouths of babes. Isn’t God funny?
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